Poi Ghou'lee

1997 - Aries Sun, Libra Moon, Scorpio Rising

Autistic/ADHD Disclaimer;I choose to disclaim my Autism+ADHD diagnosis due to the intensity which it impacts my socialization. It is necessary, because studies have shown that there is a strong tendency for neurotypical people who are not mindful/aware of autism to unfairly negatively judge someone as "bad" who is on the spectrum. It begets kindness to disclose.I have a social processing disability. Because of this I may speak or behave in ways that may not seem right to you; please consider that I may be missing major things such as "who" someone is. My strange speech patterns are a result of my processing patterns and hyperlexia and my necessary radical approach to authenticity (masking is really hard for me.)I don't communicate with nor do I detect subtext/sarcasm/indirect communication well. I am very literal and direct in both the way I communicate, and also the way I interpret your communication. It takes a lot of effort for me to try to be considerate of other communication styles and I am always trying, but I need you to please also give me the same consideration and grace. (Double Empathy problem)I'm a details-first processor and often "miss the forest for the trees" as they say. I can swing from seeming flat and disengaged to manic and high energy pretty easy. I hyperfixate and zone out, I get distracted, I often stand up and go AFK without thinking about it. I am also a strong "SJW" you might say. I absolutely do choose my friends based on their political opinions bc your politics are informed by your morals & i dont hang out with people who morally condemn harmless lifestyles. I have no tolerance for abuse/mistreatment & I absolutely don't fall for the "Paradox of Intolerance" issueBecause of this tendency of mine to have zero-tolerance for abuse/mistreatment, and my own life experiences in both personal and professional capacity exposing me to the reality of abuse/mistreatment, you might find me to be extremely HOT and COLD with some people versus others. I'm not shy about it. Most people whose ban lists I'm on, put me on there bc i dont close my big fat yapper about the shit they dun'did :DAt the same time, I am actually very forgiving. The only people who I'm not willing to come to an understanding and make ammends are the people on my ban list. Even if you're blocked, if you can TP in and walk up to me, I'll unblock you and we can talk. This forgiving nature of mine has put me in harm's way a lot, and therefore, i'm simultaneously very paranoid and can be guarded. I have been taken advantage of a lot in a variety of ways, and now I'm pushin' 30 I dont care for it anymore.Everything I do, I do on my own terms. Radical acceptance and self-accomodation (within the confines of not inflicting harm on others) is absolutely necessary for wellness with any kind of disabilities, including those of a neurodevelopmental nature. If that makes me (or any other autistic in therapy) narcissistic to you then you dont understand disability & we are not compatible to be friends.However, it is important to note; I do make a point of taking accountability and apologizing for wrongs I may commit, even if they are a result of my disability. I don't write this disclaimer to shirk-responsibility, but to be radically up-front about my reality and my disabilities because it benefits both me, and you, for you to be aware/informed to be willing. I have to take radical action to make certain i can maintain a healthy relationship with myself in conjuction with my relationship with my social circle. My diagnostic report mentioned my "sensitivities" at least 32 times that I could count. I am a highly sensitive person and I find that fighting that instead of nourishing that, can be toxic for my soul. No one wants that, especially not me.